What you say matters: Using positive adoption language
"Giving up a baby for adoption" is often used to describe the decision to place a child for adoption. This phrase is inaccurate and can feel harmful. It implies that the birth mother is giving up on her child when in reality, she is putting her child's needs above her own. She is choosing to give her child a life full of love, stability, safety, and opportunity. A better way to describe the decision to place a child for adoption is to say that the birth mother is "making an adoption plan."
Making an adoption plan involves evaluating a child's needs and what kind of life the parent or parents want for them. Hope Cottage staff work closely with birth mothers to help them answer important questions such as what kind of family does the birth mother want for her child? Does she prefer an adoptive family similar to her own, or does she want to give her child the opportunity to experience a different kind of life? What level of contact does she desire with the adoptive family after the adoption? Does she prefer an open adoption, where she will have regular contact with the adoptive family? Or does she prefer a closed adoption, where she has no contact with the adoptive family? What are her post-adoption support needs? Will she require counseling or support groups to help her cope with the emotional challenges of adoption?
A birth mother should never feel like she is "giving up" on her baby. Adoption is a selfless and courageous choice that can give a child the best possible chance at a happy and fulfilling life. As our friends at Brave Love say, “The brave act of placing a baby for adoption is often viewed in a negative light when in reality, it is a selfless, difficult, and loving decision a woman can make for her child. Adoption is a selfless act of love from one to another. There should be no shame in choosing adoption.”
Hope Cottage has empowered women to make informed decisions about their pregnancies and children's futures for over 100 years. We're small, local, and have no religious affiliation, so our services are personalized and always put our client and our client’s values first. We offer various services, including counseling, support groups, and financial assistance. We are here to help through every step of the adoption process.
Call or text our 24/7 on-call phone line 469-418-4518 or fill out this form to contact a counselor.