A Texas Love Story
My wife and I met and fell in love in college, and moved to DFW in 1998 to start our lives. Over the next couple of decades, we went through all the challenging tribulations and marked gladness of both good and bad times, all the while building a wonderful life together that, unfortunately, lacked one thing we both greatly desired: children. Several years ago, a good friend of ours in Kansas went through a foster-to-adopt program in their state and completed their family by fostering, and eventually adopted an amazing little girl. I believe this ultimately prompted us to look into the foster system, and after some research, we found Hope Cottage.
We were quite excited about the interview and left it feeling very optimistic about the future. We were not disappointed. While the training was more rigorous than we had anticipated, we trudged through it, spirits high while still trying to keep a realistic perspective on the process. One of the interesting things about entering the foster system is that you suddenly become aware of how expansive it is and how many other people, often directly associated with or within a degree of separation, have been touched by it as well.
We heard all manner of stories, both good and bad, which steeled us for the future. We didn’t know what direction our road would go in, but we were as prepared as we could be. I believe it was the morning of the second day after we went live when we received a call. We’d made all the preparations - a room prepared, the convertible crib, gender-neutral toys, the works. What we didn’t expect was what they asked us first: “Would you be open to a sibling placement?”
My wife and I had discussed this, and fearing complications with multiple parents, different visitations, etc., we’d just submitted for one child.
“They are two beautiful little girls. Like two peas in a pod.” I distinctly remember our case worker making that analogy, and it really touched my heart, thinking of these two girls, each other the only constant in their lives, in desperate need of a permanent home. We decided that, yes, we would definitely be interested.
In the foster program, you’re warned about the roller coaster ride of emotions experienced, and while we fortunately never experienced the pain of having a child removed, we felt a lot of anxiety over the next couple of months. We assumed the powers that be didn’t want the girls moved from their current placement until the question of the parental rights had been resolved, and it was an agony thinking time and again that the moment for that decision had arrived, only to have it slip away. However, in the grand scheme of things, it only took a few weeks, and by early June, the decision was made. Hope Cottage arranged for us to finally meet the girls.
The first moment came when we drove out to the current foster parent’s house for a brief introductory visit. It was pretty magical. Both girls were just as beautiful, smart, sassy, and fun as wed imagined. That meeting gave way to a few pre-placement visits where the girls got to know us, and we got to know the current foster parents. The third and last visitation happened about a week later, as the foster family was throwing the oldest a party that doubled as her 3rd birthday and going away party. The foster family was pretty amazing, and we will be forever indebted to them for taking care of our girls that first year.
A few days later, it finally happened. The official day came, and their CPS worker showed up on our doorstep with these two amazing girls and a car full of their possessions. Fortunately, the foster parents had snuck over many of their things, so when they arrived, their room was furnished with their belongings. It was an amazing day. We walked them down to our community park and pushed them on the swings. I remember our older girl loving the big bed we'd gotten for her, and our younger girl just wanted to be held the whole time. Their capacity for love was incredible. They embraced us immediately and have never let go. A path to adoption appeared clear, but still, we didn't count our blessings.
When the big day finally came, everyone was excited. The girls had new dresses and proudly proclaimed to anyone who would listen that they were going to be adopted! With family and friends in attendance, the ceremony was adjudicated by the same judge who had ordered the removal and terminated the parent's rights. Also present were the CPS worker, the girl's CASA representative, and our Hope Cottage case manager. The court told us that because they see so much sadness, they invite everyone who can come to see the adoption because it is always so special, and the turnout in the room didn't disappoint.
Afterward, the CASA representative walked us down the street to the CASA offices, where they'd prepared a little party with cake, balloons, and baby dolls. The girls were ecstatic, probably with the balloons more than anything.
Since then, nine months have passed, and the girls are a brilliant bundle of gymnastics, games, cartoons, singing, soccer, jokes, and laughter. While they seem to have no memory of their time before foster care, our older, once in a while, has memories of her time with the other foster parents, usually triggered by momentous events like birthdays or holidays. They are fully integrated into our house, and my wife and I can't imagine ever being without them. We have a big Christmas in Colorado planned for them this year, with my sister and her family coming in from Florida. Everyone just loves them, from our family to our friends and coworkers. The future looks nothing but amazing, and the world better prepare for our girls!