Last week we spoke to birthparents about introducing the concept of adoption to children they are currently parenting. This week we will guide adoptive parents the same way with Five Tips on Introducing your Children to Adoption: 

1. Tell Them

   • Once you begin the adoption process in earnest, it is important to let your children know what you are doing; talk to them about your decision to adopt. Your children will probably have a million questions. Think about how many questions you had when you began the process, and kids are much more curious than adults! You will need to take some time to answer all of their questions and validate their feelings. Depending on your children’s ages, they may not be able to grasp the full meaning of adoption. But, with your help, they can begin to gain understanding and become excited about the journey.  

2. Education

   • One of the best ways to start familiarizing your children with adoption is through books. Books can provide age-appropriate stories that discuss/explain adoption in a positive way. They can help you begin to use and teach positive adoption language.  Remember that adoption isn’t something you’ll discuss once, and it shouldn’t be treated that way. You’ll continue talking about it throughout your child’s life. 

3. Involving Your Children in the Adoption Process

   • After you have told your children you will be adopting, it may be beneficial to involve them in the adoption process. Where you feel it is appropriate, include your children in the process; let them know about the home study, trainings you’re attending, and your match meetings. Children could participate by selecting a few pictures for your profile book or even writing a letter to their new brother or sister. Your adoption counselor can always give you insight into age-appropriate inclusion.

4. Be patient and give time to adjust.

   • This will be an emotional journey for your family. Despite all the preparation and education you pass along to your children, they may just need time to understand what adoption means to them. So be patient and let them ask questions. Let them be sad. Let them be scared. Adoption will be a lifelong journey for them, and their feelings toward it will change with time.

5. You will always be a family.

   • Address and reassure your children that you will always be a family and that they will always be loved.  It is very important that you address your child’s fears with empathy when welcoming a new baby. These could include:

     • “Will mommy and daddy love the new baby more than me?”

     • “Will you forget about me?”

     • “Will my new brother/sister miss their parents?”

     • “Will baby’s (real parents) take them back?”

If you would like more detailed information on adopting, feel free to call or text 469-418-4518.